Sunday, January 31, 2010

i loves me my stacy & clinton ...

... on what not to wear. this show has been a go-to show for part of my couch-potato catch-up-on-episodes weekend (and a few weeknights) escape. would love to meet stacy & clinton but not under ... a fashion intervention. meanwhile, this shopping thing also reminded me of a few blogs and a j.stewart interview with tim gunn ... enjoy!
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Tim Gunn
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

Saturday, January 30, 2010

f|break: saturday evening - it's almost v-day ...

valentine's day ... just a couple more weeks until it rears its cupid-head (and if you really must know, here's some info). after shopping like a cost-conscious bandit today, several store fronts were sporting the iconic v-day symbols. this reminded me of last year's exchanges. below are a few reposts for today's fiber break ... and it all starts with -

(reposts from '09 - feb 17, april 25, sept 26)

... thanks to daviddust for channeling ellie grace as part of a comment to this morn's post (02/17), thus allowing me an excuse to post this little clip. (hee-hee)

i love you more than ...
little britain & little britain USA
(well ... kinda sorta)
oh yeah
>peace, bitch

. grits at rudy's . happy hour with the gals .
. watching glee . pressing speed dial on my phone .
. non sequitur conversations . ocean wet smell .
. air-conditioned buses on an indian summer day .
. color theme dress-up day .
. the colored markers i lug around at work .
. the garden fresh fruits & vegetables you share .
. movies we quote for the immature teenage boys
that we truly can be .
. le pen .
... blank ...

. all the bags in my closet . that tasty cookie at caffe trieste .
. the smell of the ocean . a cup of espresso forte or garuda .
. i did yesterday . you love yourself .
. reading david's recaps of fave (and not so fave) reality tv shows .
. a scoop of chocolate therapy . cheese .
. the color of the sun setting and rising .
. how much i love how you smell .
. writing . people think i love penguins .
. our stupidicus and moronicus frivolity . i miss san diego .
. staring at the ceiling . fried pickles .
. harold and his purple crayon .
. sweet potato fries (baked of course, ha!) .
. sound of your loving sigh . blogging . ha cherng .
. your love for jumble words . your love for gardening .
... blank ...

. i love our hit or miss morning chats . the heat in d.c. .
. that filipino dessert i forget the name of . guacamole & chips .
. you love gerard butler . oatmeal mango cookies .
. you love talking in french . pedicures with leg massages .
. you love your belgian beer . you hate muta .
. hot chocolate with whipped chocolate mousse .
. you love to travel . buzz loves the spice girls .
. you love poppy & rosey . the sound of music .
. you love our harry potter books . uffpa .
. you love shopping . the guns you own . your love for wine .
. you love bejeweled . your dragonboat fun .
... blank ...

today's ... blank ...?
barney's burgers & milkshakes .
. awesome shopping deals .

Friday, January 29, 2010

nearly 15 years spent in SD ...

... and i am missing it today - a cool, drizzly-ish winter BA day. visit soon before the end of this 1st calendar quarter. (yes, i still think in calendar quarters at times.)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

no telling when i would have sat down ...

feb 22, 2009 was the northern california memorial service for jengyee.

(repost from a 02/22/09 post)

i had the honor of being part of the memorial service for my friend jengyee. the service was this afternoon. as part of that event, in addition to volunteering to bring boxes of kleenex, pens, an artist's clipboard, name tags (oops! forgot those), and a microphone stand, i offered to share some thoughts.

originally planned to be in the "first part" of the memorial service, i had started drafting a bit of a eulogy that i'd hoped would express (and impress) the sense of my friendship with jengyee - mentor/mentee turned girlfriend buddies. ultimately, it made a bit more sense to be part of the "second part" of the memorial service where there was an open mic for those attending to share their memories of jengyee with each other.

the one special memory shared between me and jengyee is the genesis of her book, hello real world. and for this, i chose to share with others at the memorial.
"no telling when i would have sat down ..."

thank you for this opportunity to share with you the slice of life i experienced with jengyee. my name is shirlsd. jengyee and i met through the Student Alumni Mentorship Program (SAMP) at U.C. Berkeley. as an alumna, i wittingly knew that, when jengyee chose me, i would have a captive audience for my college and career experience musings. although our college majors differed - she in IEOR and me in ChemE, we expressed a similar passion about environmental issues. after several random talks about environmental-related careers, roommates, places to hang out in berkeley, and dance places in san francisco (which was scary to find out that the same places still existed after 20 years!), our mentor-mentee talks quickly evolved into heartfelt conversations about enjoying life and making a difference in the world. it was during one conversation that jengyee became my mentor - she inspired me to develop a more formal and thoughtful summer internship program for my consulting practice.

the slice of life i feel honored to share with you is about my experience with the evolution of “hello real world” – jengyee’s book. after spending a little time talking with mr. liang last night, i decided to share something a little different than what i had originally planned to share, with the hopes that this slice brings to life one of the many facets of jengyee.

the following is the sentiment she wrote in this very book …
“shirlsd, wow! what a journey!! thanks for being the impetus behind this book. no telling when i would have sat down to document my experiences without your initial suggestion and continued support. may this book bring you many amazing internship moments. jengyee liang. 2.28.06.”
a little bit about my journey with jengyee – regarding her book, amazing internship moments. and my personal transformation from the words ... “no telling when i would have sat down … ”.

being able to put my finger specifically on the moment
12-27-2004. 3:38 pm
this is the date and time when jengyee started writing about her internship experiences. she and i were talking on the phone over her christmas holiday break to catch-up on life – school, business, interns, social life, music, boys, family – the normal stuff. by this time, our cal student-mentor tenure had already ended, and yet we chose to stay in touch. and in fact, i don't know if it was a choice so much as it just was what it felt it needed to be.

she was expressing some frustration over hoping to have a productive internship experience. long story short, i encouraged her to simply journal. write thoughts down – good, bad, happy, sad, indifferent, doodle – whatever just seemed to automatically flow … then call me or send something over in a couple days or so. in fact, i did the same thing – as a business owner who wanted to make sure that any internship experience i offered would be at least somewhat fulfilling as jengyee would hope to have for any students' experiences. me? i came up with 1 page. jengyee - more than 5 pages, single-spaced. little did we know that what started as a cathartic moment between two girlfriends ultimately would result in her book, “hello real world”.

jengyee and i continued to exchange ideas. and while doing so, jengyee asked if one of my interns, margaret, would read the beginnings of jengyee’s internship guide, which is how it originally was starting out – not quite a book, yet.

fast forward nearly 10 months later
september of 2005
margaret shared with jengyee her perspectives and comments. and as i’m sure you all know, jengyee was very thankful and took to heart and mind much of what margaret offered. and as with margaret’s input, jengyee continued seeking input not only from margaret but also from other friends, mentors, and colleagues. (just as was mentioned earlier by jesse about his friend, tom). suffice to say, jengyee not only continued to refine her writing, she decided she would see about formally publishing a book.

3 months later
December 2005
jengyee asked me to write the foreword. i’ll refrain from reading it here for now and will simply say that i was simply honored to do so.

finally, for one of my "no telling when i would have sat down ..." moments
the next month
january 2006
i started a blog - at the encouragement of jengyee … chronicling the experience of one of my interns - affectionately known as "reality: intern". in fact, it was an intern whom jesse introduced to me.

i’ll stop at this point – so you know that the matter of fact manner of which i’m describing my friendship with jengyee clearly was more than tasks, dates, times, telephone calls, e-mails, etc. my friendship, and i’m sure as with your friendship and memories of her, have been about sharing life’s moments and evolving from even the simplest of statements -
“no telling when i would have sat down … ” moments.
it is this sentiment that i often carry and share when faced with life's occasional curve balls and many competing interests.

then i remember and remind myself - take the opportunity to occasionally sit down a bit, take deep breaths ... and do so especially with the encouragement of a friend -
“no telling when i would have sat down … ”
thank you for letting me share this sentiment with you, again, and with that, i'm sure we all look forward to others' memories of jengyee. and thank you to mr. liang and mrs. liang for letting us have this opportunity.
if you have chosen to read through this whole post, thank you very much for doing so. it means very much to me.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

let me believe

(repost from feb 03, 2009 post)
let me believe that it is different
something is different
we are different

it is nearly two years since the last time you chose not to call
even though i believed you because you said you would call,
since i left you a message you chose not to return
even though i believed friendship would prevail,
since a painful moment i brought upon us
even though we have never spoken about it.
i do not have to believe
because i know
that two years ago, we experienced our own grief
when i asked you to remove you - your passion - from my home.
the sadness in my heart went unnoticed
as it was overshadowed by your quiet anger.

let me believe my feelings are different
something is different
you are different

it is less than one year since you chose to e-mail me.
your note? i believed it was a simple, benevolent gesture
even though only you knew your intentions.
i do not have to believe
because i know
that the moment i watched you walk toward my doorstep
was the moment i realized i chose well.
my acceptance of your gesture went unnoticed
as i chose to forgo my healing for your companionship.

let me believe that i can heal
something is different
i am different

it is tonight, more than one week since you chose not to call
even though i believed you - just because.
it is tonight, not more than one day since i chose to call you,
as i have done so since, daily.
on this night, i chose to leave you a message,
not reminiscent of two years ago,
because something is different,
we are different.
tonight i asked that we talk, that we share, that we listen.
and on this night, as i recount my sadness, your anger,
my acceptance, your touch,
i remember that i have a choice,
that you have a choice.
even though we may never talk about this,
i accept that you may not call
because tomorrow,
something will be different.

let me believe that i will choose
that i have chosen
that i am different
i do not have to believe
because i know

Monday, January 25, 2010

there is a book or two or more ...

(repost from a 05/17/2007 post)

... that exist! i want them.

and how is this first book described at

Race and Epistemologies of Ignorance
From the Back Cover
Offering a wide variety of philosophical approaches to the neglected philosophical problem of ignorance, this groundbreaking collection builds on Charles Mills's claim that racism involves an inverted epistemology, an epistemology of ignorance. Contributors explore how different forms of ignorance linked to race are produced and sustained and what role they play in promoting racism and white privilege. They argue that the ignorance that underpins racism is not a simple gap in knowledge, the accidental result of an epistemological oversight. In the case of racial oppression, ignorance often is actively produced for purposes of domination and exploitation. But as these essays demonstrate, ignorance is not simply a tool of oppression wielded by the powerful. It can also be a strategy for survival, an important tool for people of color to wield against white privilege and white supremacy. The book concludes that understanding ignorance and the politics of such ignorance should be a key element of epistemological and social/political analyses, for it has the potential to reveal the role of power in the construction of what is known and provide a lens for the political values at work in knowledge practices.
Contributors include Linda Martín Alcoff, Alison Bailey, Robert Bernasconi, Lorraine Code, Harvey Cormier, Stephanie Malia Fullerton, Sarah Lucia Hoagland, Frank Margonis, Charles W. Mills, Lucius T. Outlaw (Jr.), Elizabeth V. Spelman, Shannon Sullivan, Paul C. Taylor, and Nancy Tuana.
oh. my. god. epistemology of ignorance. epistemology - branch of philosophy ... that studies the nature of knowledge, its presuppositions and foundations, and its extent and validity. ignorance ... the condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.

i am soooo excited about this. don't yet know all the reasons why, but i am.
and then a couple of books by wendell berry. so i'm quite interested in seeing where this reading jaunt will take me.

meanwhile, i do still have to finish reading covering (k. yoshino) and who really cares (a. brooks).

Sunday, January 24, 2010

f|break: sunday afternoon - lovin' muumuu homer ...

fiber break while reminiscing about years passed ...
i likes me my homer!

and his muumuu:
oooh! ... i want stuff - over here or here!

25 blah-blah things

(repost from a 02/10/2009 post)

i'm guessing you have seen this ... the 25 random things thing. from joanne's post over on her blog where she states ...

"taken from this internet/chain letter/ facebook post thing. Basically you're just supposed to list 25 facts about yourself. The lovely Diana tagged me on facebook with this. According to the rules, once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged and generally how/why you tagged who you did. (Since I'm going blog style, I'm not going to tag, okay?)"
so as with joanne's 25s, i say to you - enjoy your read, and perhaps you will find out something(s) new about me ... as well as mundane boring bullsh**.

1. over not under ... that is the way that sheets of a toilet paper rolls should lay. i will fix the roll - at your home, my work, a restaurant, a department store, a gas station, wherever.

2. because my high school counselor thought otherwise ... back in the day when applying for college and choosing a major, my h.s. counselor was not quite encouraging about my choosing a "hard" engineering major - like chem eng, which was fine because i secretly wanted to do architecture/environmental design (or something along that line). i decided to list chem eng first and architecture second, as if i was spiting my counselor. go figure, i got my first pick.

3. om. om. om. ... i'm a bit woo-woo. during a weekend in nov '07, i was certified at the practitioner's level (level 2) for reiki. and during that weekend, i also was exposed to/learned about angels - guardians and archangels - and guides. (this event)

4. it's chris. now give me my $20 (and then some) ... my friend, kevin, gave me $20 in my 2nd year of college. i had a huge crush on a cute guy in my major. i drove kevin (and others) nuts yapping on & on (and we know i can do THAT) about this guy. all i had to do was get the guy's name, and kevin would give me $20. well, i turned it into a small event ... asked cute guy if i he was going to class 'cuz i wasn't going, if he could pick up my problem set, and if i could meet him after class. he said yes, we exchanged names, and then he gave me his phone number on a piece of paper, with his name - chris. we dated for several months eventually.

5. foreword ... i wrote one - for my friend's book called "hello real world." (i miss my friend, jengyee liang.) foreword content here.

6. come fly with me ...
i believe hypnosis works. i vomited in a garbage can after deplaning from a small prop plane that flew from the bakersfield area to sacramento. afterwards, my boss handed me a napkin and a 7up. that was in 1989. whenever i traveled via plane (any size), i white-knuckled ascents and descents until 1994, which was when i underwent hypnosis for, apparently, my flying issues. i don't necessarily enjoy flying, but i don't vomit-launch anymore.

7. it's just a numbers game ... my college gpa was less than stellar. more than 2.00 and less than 2.50. mixed in there is the fact that i do know what is required to get off of academic probation. and even with that, i still owned a successful and active consulting practice for ~12 years and had a nifty internship program (for shich i started blog that chronicled an intern's experience over here) in the end, i have learned that the numbers mean less as time goes on.

8. there once was a man from nantucket ... i won 3rd place in a 4th grade poetry contest.

9. EE-dull-wha-the ...? ... i have never seen the entire movie (or even 10 minutes straight) of "the sound of music" - so my rendition of edelweiss at karaoke after skiing alta and drinking a bunch of singha was comparable to the william shanter's talk-sing style (over here).

10. more bookcases, please ...
i swear i won't buy any more books, but then i buy more books - after pulling one of my many wallets out of one of my many purses while wearing one of my many pairs of shoes after making one of my many "to do" check lists. (sigh)

11. amen, kinda sorta ... i was raised roman catholic, which meant i took catechism, which meant i went to a lady's house to learn about the old and new testament. when asked to say grace before snack-time among other catechism goers, i stood up, did a kind of curtsy, then bowed a little with a rolling right hand gesture and said "gahhhhh-rrrrrrace." that didn't go over very well after a few giggles.

12. gullible ... i am, at times. that's why i spent a week telling friends (and strangers) about my new found knowledge that johnny depp was part vietnamese.

13. ahhhh. ahhhh. ... i have no cavities.

14. epiphany ... i had an epiphany in early may '94, and as a result, one of the insights that popped out of some kind of automatic writing moment is the following that guides me ...
There are BRIDGES yet to be constructed by those who live andbreathe in their ENVIRONMENT — AIR, LAND and WATER. Egos stand firmon the ground that they were born and choose not to acknowledge thatto get one step closer they must go one step FURTHER.MY VISION IS TO CREATE THOSE BRIDGES.
and from this, i also came up with the full complement of a mission / vision / values statement. whether just voices in my head, divine inspiration, or simply words resulting from some sleep deprivation, it is important to me that people are made aware of how their choices affect the environment. and hopefully, they will choose well.

15. dog ... i am more of a dog person than a cat person.

16. pigdog's dad ... i wrote an e-mail to a photographer, chip simons, who was listed on the back of a postcard - this postcard (to the right) that had a picture of what i affectionately called "pigdog" back in my college days. chip wrote me back. here is the little story.

17. (with butterflies in my stomach) phew! he said "yes" ... in the summer of '02, to date, that has been the ONLY time i have formally asked a guy out on a date - dinner and a sade concert. (well, although he said "yes," he later had to cancel because he was stuck in the mid-west working on a power plant. of course, i still went to dinner and the concert. hello? it's sade!!!)

18. yes ... i once inhaled.

(update & clarification: i once inhaled. uhm ... perhaps twice?)
19. writing ... calms my soul. as loquacious as i am/can be/have been, i think that writing provides that extra "umph" for me to be even more (or differently) expressive. by all means, i just find myself writing to write, and often i'll learn something new about myself. as far as any stories i've written or barely started - it's just a numbers game, and a few other stories titled (so far) my foreigner, donor #3355, and let me believe come to mind. (i do have a story about vacation neurosis, which was my very first short that i attempted back in 2003.)

20. i'll be in the corner, thank you ... small groups are more of my scene. i've often been told by acquaintances, friends and co-workers that they fancy me as a social butterfly - readily flitting around friends and strangers. on the contrary, i enjoy sitting with a small pool of friends (old & new) in a corner with a beverage of choice and yapping it up.

21. useless silverware ... one day, i want to bend silverware - knives, spoons, forks, sporks, you name it! - just like uri geller did (and does?).

22. never say never ... i started a solo-consulting practice in '94 (well, i was unemployed in 11/94, by choice) and currently have it a bit on-hold. in '07, i returned to the government. here are thoughts i was processing just one week after returning. perhaps i'll write more about my thoughts (see #19.)

23. sunflower seeds ... i eat sunflower seeds while driving long hauls.

24. stink-eye ... in '94, i had a funky, not-so-obvious eye issue that ultimately was termed "atypical" as a result of many (MANY!) tests - lumbar puncture (aka spinal tap), bone marrow sample, mri, cat scan, barium sulfate, and other pin-cushion, bodily-fluid-draining, innards-picture-taking activities. and as many experiencing a battery of tests, not knowing if i was faced with a life-threatening situation, that is when i started learning much more about naturopathic medicine and that is when i began to understand that there are no such things as coincidences.

25. i like it cold ... i prefer to sleep with my feet outside the blankets.

you're welcome.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

my name is not silvia ...

back in november 2007 ... totally by coincidence (perhaps), i had a roomie (at a little spiritual retreat i attended) whose full name was an odd yet common misnomer of mine. and it was there where she told me she heard her angels speak to her ...

(repost from 11/15/2007)

going to
land of medicine buddha
a tibetan buddhist retreat in santa cruz
so i can learn about reiki

very exciting!

i miss my friend ...

back in january 2006, a dear friend of mine, jengyee liang (1983-2008), wrote a book called
hello real world!: a student's approach to great internships, co-ops and entry level positions.

(repost from 01/18/2006)

Cal Bear Buddy Brings Book to Bear (soon!)

Tangent for today ... I got a great comment from Jengyee. She asked "If you feel inspired to create an intern-specific blog, I wanted to ask your permission for me to include a link to it from my book website (TBA next month-ish). I know your site would be fun."

Well, I'm flattered and will totally consider doing so!

(By the way, that stylish orange sticker ... we took the San Diego "Old Town Trolley Tour". It was pretty decent even with San Diego's June Gloom.)

Meanwhile, I wanted to share with you all the foreword I wrote for Jengyee's first "soon-to-be-available, next-month-ish" book. From the foreword (below), hopefully you will appreciate what she has to offer. Enjoy!

(excerpt from "Hello Real World!")

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost

When Jengyee reminded me that I offered to write this Foreword, less than one year had passed since our cathartic telephone call. I had encouraged her to write about her experience. As a result, Jengyee's insight for students and employers are expressed in this thoughtful and inspiring book about the internship experience (and beyond). She reminds others and me that work not only shapes one's career but also shapes one's life.

Jengyee and I met through the Student Alumni Mentorship Program at U.C. Berkeley. As an alumna, I wittingly knew that, when Jengyee chose me, I would have a captive audience for my college and career experience musings. Although our college majors differed, we expressed a similar passion about environmental issues. After several random talks about environmental-related careers, roommates, places to hang out in Berkeley, and dance places in San Francisco, our mentor-mentee talks quickly evolved into heartfelt conversations about enjoying life and making a difference in the world. It was during one conversation that Jengyee became my mentor - she inspired me to develop a formal summer internship program for my consulting practice.

What does Jengyee know about internships? She knows they can be fun, challenging, important and well worth the experience beyond building a resume. She has completed three summer internships with well-known corporations. She offers a genuine perspective - the job search process, unspoken expectations, challenges, balancing college and work life, and positive and not-so-positive events. Most importantly, she understands how an intern (and employer!) can create a formative internship experience. Because of her core value to make a difference in the world, she is sharing her perspective in this book.

So for those who have chosen to learn from Jengyee's experience, I am assured that beyond building your resume, your internship experience can and will enhance not only your career path but other parts of your life.

Friday, January 22, 2010

and then there is cubicide, whether physics supports it ...

BATCH 3: from june '08, when cubicide was introduced to the family of cubealabras (and cubicide may be unlikely because of physics as we know it, but still ...)

cubbaticle: def - extended absence from cubicle; also self-cubolishment
cubolish: def - ban someone from the cubeopolis for instrusive or irritating behavior
cubaphobic: def - cubaphobes who often take cubbaticles; may be related to proximity of cuberts.
cubert: def - pervert of the cubeopolis; also closely related to cub-icky
cubicky: def - closely related to cubic hair
cubebration: def - ubiquitous birthday celebration in which no one knows the birthday person or how to sing
ice-cubed: def - when your management refuses to acknowledge the problem with the air conditioner
cubeometer: def - measuring device to make sure the ice cubed problem has been solved in cubeopolis so that cubesters don't freeze their cubits off
cubits: def - unit of cubicle memory storage; used for quantifying institutional memory contained in a bureacracy. (e.g., "All the baby boomer staff in Permitting are retiring this year. Do you have any idea how many senior cubits we'll be losing? at least 8 Gigacubits and 12 lifers!!")
cubentrification (also cub-entrify): def - movin' on up in cubeopolis or cube-politan
cubpid: def - office matchmaker (among and between cubesters)
incubeus/succubeus: def - skanky but somewhat attractive male/female co-worker who's constantly asking you out in your cubicle and apparently had the word "no" deleted from his/her vocabulary
roundacube: def - going around the square table and telling everyone all the pointless activities you've been involved with; see also "deadwood," "slacker," and "cubicide"
cubicide: def - attempting death by swallowing a whole cube of Post-Its®, hanging suspended from the ceiling above the cubicle and using a paperclip noose, or asking for a raise
cuborandum of agreement/understanding (also COA or COU): def - little pieces of paper that people, who actually have to follow the terms contained therein, neither agree with nor actually understand.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

twa speaks (tongue-in-cheek) on dating

(repost from 01/23/2007)

on january 22, 2007 ... twa (mail, married one-time, 40s, no kids, no pets), lw (female, single parent, never married, 40s, cat and dog owner), and i had quite the e-banter on dating and on-line dating, in particular ... i am taking twa up on his insight & advice for "one-month" trial period - through mid-february 2007.

the opening ... twa offering his services to write/consult on ads
Before I share my insight regarding singles ads, I want to say a little bit about my background. Over the past ten years I have spent between 4 to 6 hours each day at work surfing the web reading classified ads written by women in ages ranging from 12 to 85 years old. Based on hundreds of hours of research, I have seen the following:

In these ads, younger women are not afraid to show photos of themselves in all types of nearly nude situations (example washing their car in a next to nothing bathing suit, or showing off their favorite underwear). With these types of photos the younger women will write something like: “Do you want to hookup tonight?”. For purely scientific reasons, I have tried to send emails to these types of ads but the mailboxes are always full with the thousands of other guys trying to meet these women.

I have noticed that as women get older they become more careful and start to show photos of themselves wearing a heavy sweater sitting in an overstuffed chair with a little cat or dog in their lap. These women will write something like: “Looking for a man with season tickets to the opera.”. Now I can guess why these older women are being more careful with their ads. They are worried about attracting the wrong type of man. The problem is, with the careful ad the few men that do respond are gutless Nancy boys that are in their forties and still living with their mom. Being careful with a singles ad is like trying to catch a fish without putting bait on the hook. Dating is like catching fish. Don’t worry about which fish you are going to catch. Instead, try to catch as many fish as possible. Use a huge gill net. Catch hundreds of fish. Get the fish in the boat. Once in the boat, look at each fish closely. If you like one of these fish, put it in the storage tank in the boat for later use. If you don’t like one of the fish, hit it in head with a hammer and throw it out of the boat.

With the gill net approach to singles ads, the photos need to show your best features. They do not need to be full body shots. Just close-up shots of the more important parts of the body. Warning --- do not cover-up these body parts too much in the photos. Men are stupid and need to be shown things clearly. The same approach needs to be taken in the write-up. Say things like: “Its been too long since my last parade. I want to ride on a float tonight.” OK – with the gill net type singles ad, you will get many many responses. Accept all of them. However, remember to bring your hammer with you on all first dates. You will need to use if often before you find a really good fish.
twa's clarification on the gill net after lw and my comment re: weeding fish out early-on ...
Here is the problem with trying to adjust the gill net, it is impossible to know which are the nasty fish at first. You must catch them first. Then decide if the fish is nasty. If you try to adjust the gill net, you will start losing fish. Some of those fish that you lost will be keepers. Due to all of the interest that will be generated with the gill net approach, you must manage your time. Try scheduling several dates for a single day (1 hour difference in starting time). If you hate the guy, act like you a going to puke and have him let you out of the car (do this within 15 minutes). You should practice this puking act to get is right. Go on the next date scheduled in the next hour. If you like the guy, just go out of the date and leave the other guys hanging. Chances are they were nasty fish anyway.
[side bar from lw to me: you must come over for a weekend so we can practice our fake vomiting technique. twa, I NEVER would have thought of this, you really are on to something here.]

(i'm in.) then more from twa on photos to post ... [bullets added for ease of reading twa's tips!]
A couple of comments regarding photos.
  • Put in a couple of more showing cleave (this of course is a major selling point with men. You may want to use Photoshop for a zoomed in shot.).
  • Get rid of photos showing you with other men (I know these types of photos show that you have men friends and you are social and all, but men do not like competition at right out of the gate.
  • Men want to think that you have no other men in your life at the moment.).
  • Get rid of the photos showing you having fun with big fake animals (I know these types of photos show that you like having fun and can be goofy at times – but remember that right out of the gate men are only thinking about one thing – getting lucky.
  • Photos showing you being goofy may indicate that you will laugh when a guy gets naked in front of you for the first time. This will kill a good buzz.)
  • Keep the photos with you and your girlfriends (in the back of all men’s minds is the idea of a possible 3-way).
  • Keep the photos of you drinking the hard stuff (also in the back of all men’s minds is the idea that I will get her drunk and have my way with her on the first date).
(i'm almost done with photos chosen to post) and then twa's insight on profile content (the stuff i wrote about me) ...
I like the write-up. It has good energy, it is not too long, and it highlights the fact that you are a professional. The only thing I would add is some reference to a dark past that you are trying to run from. Say something like: “Working in my new office in the bay area overlooking the Golden Gate bridge is a far cry from my days in Las Vegas working as an adult entertainer.” You do not need to be specific on what type of adult entertainment you did (let them guess).
and lw chimes in on profile content ...
And maybe add something about your amazing flexibility too.
and twa clarifies his advice on profile content and tone ...
Correct. The idea here is to show that you are a little bit crazy.
Not crazy like: Sometimes I stab people because they look at me funny.
Crazy like: I can’t help it but I’m crazy in bed.
some tips learned so far --- gill net, hammer, puke, cleavage, ... and there are more. (i haven't added my banter or some of lw's interim banter --- for it is the wisdom of twa we share today!)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

to blog or not to blog, back in the beginning ...

... someone asked when and why i did i start to blog. my answer is below if from my 1st post on 01/14/06 when i was living down in san diego (SD) getting ready to move back up to the bay area (BA).

(repost from 01/14/2006)


With the encouragement of Joanne, I decided to create this blog. I met Joanne (while on one of my trips to the Bay Area) at Paddy's. Thanks much to Paddy, who owns and operates Paddy's namesake coffee shop (with wi-fi!) in Union City; he introduced us ... because of a common interest we share - an interest in writing on a particularly "fun" subject. (Maybe more on that later.)

FIRST TIME BLOGGER and BUSINESS OWNER ... This is my first blog mainly for those interested in my relocation planning and activities from San Diego to the Bay Area. (And I'm sure it will contribute to my tendency to procrastinate and provide an outlet for writing.)

I'm originally from the Bay Area - Northern California (lived there since the mid-70s). After college, I moved around California because of job opportunities. In 1991, I moved to San Diego to take a job with the utility. Since 1994, I have primarily been consulting on my own (except for a 16-month duration with a small energy consulting firm) for energy/power plant related projects on air quality and environmental issues. I'm moving back up to the East Bay in Spring 2006. I will continue to run my consulting practice when I move up north and enjoy being closer to family.

RELOCATION planning is NOT a piece of cake, but it's fun! ... I've known since the summer of 2005 that I would be moving back to the Bay Area. (There have been doubts from some friends & family, though.) So I have been planning, visualizing, goal setting, purging and doing more planning. Now I am entering the 'implementation' stage (sort of). There are the logistics to moving my home and my business, and there are the psychological and emotional aspects of planning and implementing the move. And also sprinkled in here and there are moments of ANGST.

ANGST is good ... I figure having this blog will allow me to pass along tips & tidbits, express my cathartic moments, and keep friends and family up to date on my whereabouts and on-goings.

(END of repost from 2006)
that said ... in this new girlnutkin incarnation, i'll reminisce (aka repost) occasionally about my relocation efforts back in 2006. a few highlights - - - BA tenant eviction, chowing down in SD, appreciating SD, packing process, dorky past-times, ... and more stuff.

cubeopolis ... not to be confused with cubeopolus

BATCH 2: may '08 contributions to cubealabras

cube-capra (def: Some know it as the dreaded "environmental regulation." However, in Latin America, where the common folk are known to speak casually of "res ipsa loquitur" and "carpe diem," it is referred to simply as the mysterious, corporate life force-draining monster known as...)
cube-ectomy (def: emergency removal from cube)
cube-tied (ya don't say? ... if an employee no longer wants kids, he would have his cubes tied?)
cube-turbation (def: (i) when a cube-ster's equilibrium has been thrown off; (ii) when a cube-ster is (dare i say) getting off; (iii) when a cube-ster is bothering another cube-ster)
cube your enthusiasm (def: ... why oh why does this amuse me so?!)
cuber mensch (def: a super employee)
cubricity (ya don't say? ... if you find it difficult to slip between assignments, one would say that you lack sufficient cubricity)
pre-cubescent (ya don't say? ... my co-worker threw such a fit, i'd swear she was pre-cubescent. such cubenile behavior, indeed.)
cubenile (ya don't say? ... my co-worker threw such a fit, i'd swear she was pre-cubescent. such cubenile behavior, indeed.)
cube-enius (def: sacto floyd)
cube-fax (def: the act of sharing written information in 1995.)
cubeopolis (def: the manner of naming greek city-states, that is, “-polis” -meaning city, citizenship or of the people)
cubeopolus (def: cubicles in greece the manner of the zoological classification suffice, e.g., -us, having or form of , ex. "Wonder Twins powers activate! Shape of a bucket, form of an octopus!")
cubec (def: a cubeopolis full of Canadians)
bar-b-cubed (def: what cubecs are called if their city burns down?)
royally scubed (ya don't say? ... if the insurance companies fail to pay the bar-b-cubed)
ya don't say? ... voulez-vous cuber avec moi?
definition(s) ... s’il vous plaît

c'est mercredi.
qu'est-ce qui faites-vous un mercredi pour le plaisir?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

the introduction of cubic hair in the cubeopolis vernacular

as of sept '07, i started working in a cubicle.
... so i have decided to keep a running tab
of what a few of us would like to affectionately call ...
[words (Sp.) = palabras. words about cubicle life? cubealabras]

BATCH 1: november '07 - maiden voyage ... we have the following celebration of cube-ictionary and cube-isms...

cube-occupant (def: one who lives, works (or both) in a cubicle)
cube-i-licious (def: a cute cube-occupant)
cube-politan (def: the rows/aisles of cubicles - the "grid" - the "pedestrian-oriented-design")
cube-o-rama (def: fun times in a cubicle)
cube-opolus (def: cubicles in greece)
cube-ster (def: a hip cube-occupant who likes being in cube-politan)
cube-meister (def: self-proclaimed master of cube-politan)
cube-every-day (def: the life of a cube-occupant)
cube-otomy (def: when you move on from your cube-every-day)
cube-cicle (def: frozen spears hanging from roof eaves)
cubic-hair (ya don't say?: who put this ... in my coke?)
cube-opoly (def: someone who is the only cube resident)
vac-cube (ya don't say?: does nature abhor a ... ?)
cubic's rube (def: what a cube-ster would pull out to twiddle around)
cube-itis (def: a medical condition after cube-every-day)
cube steak (ya don't say?: what's for lunch?)
cubes (ya don't say?: some men pay adult entertainers to show them their ...)
cubee (def: what a
medical marijuana card carrying cube-ster smokes at his/her desk)
cube socks (def: what a cube-occupant may wear during lunch hour kickboxing class)
cube-ee-doo (def: best dog on t.v.)
cubicle bill (ya don't say?: if Tarantino wanted to make a movie about a vengeful samurai starring cube-politan, what would he call it?)
cube-tastic four (def: favorite super heroes)
cublished (def: when you publish a cube-alabras)
cube-onymity (def: when the cube-occupant has managed to remain anonymous in cube-ipolitan)

Monday, January 18, 2010

me next, i have a credit card

(repost from 12/20/2006)

i like the occasional faux-interviews (and even meme, here and there). back in december 2006, here's my credit-card-company interview (...with a few updates).

[my life ... my faux interview]

my name: shirlsd
  • childhood ambition: to learn how to draw, write nifty stories, and shuffle cards like the casino folks (!!!)
  • fondest memory: walking back from brunch w/my folks, while they visited me in san diego (circa 1995), and my dad totally congratulates me on taking the first step to start my own business ... after i scribbled ideas & stuff on the paper place mat.
    (well, then there were also the family dinners over holidays (or any dinner, actually) when my brother asks, "pull my finger!")
    soundtrack: off top of my head, two come to mind - Garden State ... Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence
  • retreat: why yes, i would like one!
  • wildest dream: (i got this covered!) maybe not "wildest" but is memorable and "huh? what was that all about?!" kind of sentiment upon waking up ... walking around in a park area where there is a swimming pool full of floating, rolled-up pairs of white tube socks and a hot dog cart nearby ... and i'm trying to get to a building behind the pool that has used office furniture that i can purchase ... and to do so, i have to rock climb up the side of the funky building with the office furniture ...
  • proudest moment: graduating from college (phew!!!)
  • biggest challenge: staying focused (sort of) (... and keeping my car's back seat clutter-free) [update 2010 - going through mail in a timely manner; car's back seat - clutter-free for most of the time!]
  • alarm clock: no machine for me; just something internal - and i'm usually up & about not later than 6:30 AM on weekdays and not later than 8 AM on weekends (and i don't even have a dog, yet!) [update 2010 - ...not later than 5:30 AM on weekdays]
  • perfect day: waking up with option to do whatever it is i really just want to do that day - with no external (or internal) pressures ... and as part of that day --- walk around freely in sun, shade, and mild weather ... smell of the ocean, grass and trees ... doing a l'il reading of something ... spend some time with friends/family and make new friends, perhaps ... laugh heartily over a meal ... and at some point during that day, being able to say "thank you" to someone and saying "you're welcome" back to someone else. a simple day can be just the same as a perfect day! (oh yeah, and i'm on vacation, too!)
  • first job: cashier at The Treasury (a now defunct department store), and if i was really lucky, i also worked snack bar!
  • indulgence: laptop bags, hand bags, backpacks, plumber bags, and those things to carry my wallet and/or my computer
  • last purchase: an alien bobblehead (souvenir) from space aliens grill & bar in bismarck, north dakota [update 2010 - little gonks by schylling]
  • favorite movie: splendor in the grass
  • inspiration: harold and his purple crayon ... and pigdog
my life: is in transition
my card: is really nice looking (for a business card; thanks, tanya from artefact designs!)
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