the oracle on #dating (?)

New Year with the Oracle ... Since 2000, I have known the Oracle.  "Congrats, Oh Mighty Oracle, for your MBA-ness!"

For more than a decade, the Oracle has provided intellectual banter, often about business development, yet regularly relating to professional and personal development. Past mouth-spew-wisdom has been featured in a previous post over here.

Oracle Favorites

A few of my fave wisdom words include -

• right is always right; not simply when it's obvious or convenient. 
• no one wins a race to the moral bottom. 
• you are the sole architect of your fortune ... and misfortune.
• creativity is intrinsically hard to manage, but there is an essential paradox whereby enough process must be introduced so that creativity is balanced by a certain level of accountability. 

Economics and On-Line Dating

Earlier this week, we caught up on what's what, including chats about holiday activities, family, work, etc. Virtual "high five" for the Oracle's MBA (and more free time)!

Because I turned 50 this past year, I mentioned that I have agreed to try an on-line dating site - ourtime.com - that markets to those 50 years and older. (OH! THE REALITY OF LIFE!) I have yet to post a profile.

 

Immediately, the Oracle mentioned a Bloomberg Surveillance clip came to mind - a clip of a Stanford professor interviewed on Bloomberg TV over here on How Economics Can Help Find Love Online. Paul Oyer wrote a book - Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Economics I Learned from Online Dating - with an overview over here and a companion video (below).

enjoy this clip from Stanford Business (over here)

y'know ... i'm just thinking 

it's about fish in a barrel -
being a truthful fish in a barrel

(is that an economics thing?)

 

 

my three words for 2014

shirlnutkin ponders
(from Archie McFee)

THANKS @chrisbrogan ... Now in my third year for three words - explained over here in Chris Brogan's post, my three words for 2014 are -

• Shift
• Fingertips
• Practice

 

SHIFT

I shift into gear.

A carry-over from 2013, shift is about recognizing and creating those events and activities that bring meaningful change not only to my big story/vision but also to the big story/vision of those around me. (Added for 2014 is the element of providing the support and framework for others to shift.)

So far, for my endeavors, this includes my commitment to -

• becoming a peer-group leader for GlobalNiche's SUM-it UP program with my first study group beginning in 2014 Q1, and 
• becoming certified by BJ Fogg and Linda Fogg-Phillips as a Tiny Habits® Coach, with more about this explained in this < 3 minute video by BJ over here

 

FINGERTIPS 

My fingertips are always active.

OH THE PLACES my fingertips have been and will go! There are many activities accomplished by fingertips - some I have engaged and others I've yet to discover. Keeping my fingertips active dovetails with my many areas of interest.

Deservedly so, fingertips, for me, includes/will include (... strap in) - writing, blogging, journaling, playing the ukulele, occasional refreshers at the piano, cartooning, improvising (and making more out of object work), wrangling hair products, less "story-duck-mouth" motions (... tip of the hat to my friend andy), more thumbs up, cooking, tapas eating, home decorating, sign language, collaging (... tip of the hat to my friend theresa), and ... those activities that contribute to shifts.

PRACTICE

I engage daily practices.

As an evolution of one of my 2013 three words - deliberate - practice is inspired by the following -

• perspective shared by Chris Brogan in 2011 over here - The Practice is the Reward 
• having participated in early 2012 in BJ's Tiny Habits® program - simple, daily tiny habits that you choose for yourself and that you practice daily to bring about new behaviors
• the perspective of Deliberate Practice from Cal Newport (and here on Real Leaders Project's YouTube channel is an interview with Cal Newport)

- and to a great extent, practice is/will be tied to those "shifts" and "fingertips" - the practice of serving as a peer-group leader will include the daily checking-in on the Google+ Community that is formed, the practice of learning more chords to learn more songs on the ukulele, the practice of tiny habits toward a more health lifestyle, etc.

MY THREE WORDS OF THE PAST YEARS

My three words for 2012 -

• Believe
• Foresight
• Expression

My three words for 2013 -

• Deliberate
• Expressive
• Shift

as Chris shared in 2013 -

"The three words are a shorthand representation of your bigger story. It’s kind of like how an icon isn’t the software program. It’s just a way for you to mentally access all the work you’re doing."

What three words - 

or maybe it's more words or less words

- reflect you?

 

oh @GlobalNiche ...

@AnastasiaAshaman @TaraAgacayak @zibbyz ... thanks for all the GlobalNiche lovin'. Just taking a little time out this Sunday to say -

Puffy Heart!

GlobalNiche fix ... Go figure, I realize in addition to GlobalNiche's website, another great place to get my GlobalNiche fix on-the-run is at GN's Pinterest. (D'OH!)

2014 venture with GlobalNiche ... I am excited that 2014 brings about the opportunity to serve GlobalNiche as a peer-group leader for those who are looking to buddy-up with others in the Udemy GlobalNiche SUM-it UP program.

As I am getting prepared, I am looking to help people -

• discovering ... for articulating one's vision and goals through self-reflection;
• branding ... one's self for professional (and personal) development endeavors;
• navigating ... with one's off-line collaboration efforts, considering and learning about on-line tools and resources, and
• connecting ... with others who can support one's vision & goals

- basically - discovering and wrangling one's potential on- AND off-line endeavors. 

More eyeball to eyeball moments ... 

In addition to the virtual world of GlobalNiche - 

Google Hangout with Silvana and Anastasia
... and I am actually connected via my phone.

 

- I look forward to those moments where we get to meet-up in person -

With Anastasia at Gioia Pizzeria in San Francisco

polishing in public 

with baby steps!

congrats @LeadByGrace and ...

thanks Kelly ... for the little shout-out to shirlnutkin* in your first post - And So It Begins, on your blog Transformation - where you share your experiences with facing and overcoming life's curve balls on Parenting, Friendship, Fitness, and Faith.

transformation ... kelly's blog (twitter) is her kick-off to kicking-ass (in that awesome way), as she usually does!

mind you, kelly is a single mom of three kids; she balances and maneuvers parenting, working (full-time), continuous learning, and volunteering ... and doing all with and by grace.

when a mutual friend (who had worked with kelly for about a decade) learned that kelly started a blog, he commented -

"Pretty gutsy of Kelly. She is amazingly productive and driven, and making it public is impressive."

- and rightfully so.

when kelly and i met ... kelly had already begun her transformation. i met her in 2004, after she had a gastric bypass. at the time, she had one child.  if i recall correctly, one of my energy project developers was selling a power plant to her company. we were both on the environmental-related side of the transaction. more notably, though, we both learned early-on about our mutual perspectives, philosophies, and values in life. we have continued to keep in touch throughout the years and pick-up very quickly from where we left off.

about kelly as she shares her journey ... in kelly's second post - Look Back to Move Forward - she shares her life's events as she continues her transformation, beginning in 2003.

the short version -  starting out at a weight of 360 pounds, kelly made a mindful decision to have a gastric bypass in late 2003. since then, she has been fluctuating around 190 pounds. her goal is 165 pounds. and while she doesn't mention it in her second post, i know she works full-time, participates and volunteers for many activities, is faith-based, and understands the value of community.

in kelly's words - excerpts from her second post ...

"I stood up from a meeting and the chair came with me... voluptuous thighs, the chair was suspended 6 inches off the ground ... room was full of co-workers ... At 360 pounds ... I was no longer willing to tolerate being overweight."

"I had tried every fad diet out there ... the social stigma ... obesity is a form of socially accepted discrimination ... successful weight loss is further complicated by potential physical restrictions or related comorbidity health issues."

"Food was my coping mechanism; it had been my entire life. In 2003 ... made the decision to have a gastric bypass ... implementing the life-style change ... manage life’s curve-balls so food is used for its intended purpose in lieu of coping... make the conscious decision to use a healthy tool instead."

"My goal in November of 2003 was to weigh 200 pounds and maintain that weight within 5% ... loss of 160 pounds ... buy a scale from the store as it only measured up to 300 pounds ... reached my goal, ten years and two children later I have maintained my weight within the 5%."

"The lowest weight I have achieved in the past 10 years was 175 pounds ... felt more in control and successful (i.e. work, personal goals, etc.) ... I have hovered more in the 190 pound range ... goal ... achieve and maintain my (doctor approved) goal of 165 pounds."

- and finally, her closing statement of her second post -

"Time for a lasting change 

and that is exactly what I am going to do"

*admittedly, it's Kelly's little mention 

that re-ignited shirlnutkin-ness 

from its hibernation.

when #AARP meets #birthday #dating

do the math ... last year when my friend pho queen was giving me dating advice, i declared in august 2012 that I would be 49 years old. 

(SQUEE) 

yes, it's an 

appropriate response.

fifty ... yes, this year (and in fact, this month) i am turning 50 years old. 

• i have been to my 30th high school reunion. 
• i am at the AARP target market age. 
• i am generally good-to-go with 80s trivia (and maybe even some 70s trivia given the 13" television set my brother and i adored and the teenage magazines i LOVED!).
• i saw madonna's the virgin tour when i was in college, for which i also experienced the beastie boys for the first time.
• and while i am at it, i stared up at andy bell's (of erasure) red-costumey-leather-jockstrap-thing from the floor of san francisco's I-Beam when concerts were under $15. (fun time during them I-Beam nights!)
• my genes (and moisturizer) keep me looking youthful. 
• i definitely have to stretch more than before, and whether it really helps, i take a multivitamin religiously.
• i had to REALLY think about whether it was a good idea to hook-up for a two-night stand with a younger guy - because making bad dating decisions is a timeless, ageless thing - aka 1503 ...  remember this, piragua?

july 8, 2010
1503. 

• i read (and have read) dr. christiane northup's women health writings since i was told my eggs would start "rotting" (aka being less viable).
• i appreciate (for the most part) when other people SQUEE when they learn i'm turning 50.
• i thank bouncers and age-checkers for not carding me.
• and finally, i know how to spell perimenapaws perimenapause perimenopause. 

back to the dating thing ... last year pho queen (who is approaching mid-30s in a few years) had silver-lining advice for dating older and dating younger men. 

this year, pho queen and i still talk about dating, sex and the city episodes, old school ways of meeting guys, and scary-shitty on-line dating. (yes, this means she and i are single.) now piragua (a mutual friend, also single, also in her 30s) has posed the question - 

"have you signed up for our time?"
~ piragua

fuck. shit.

i'm turning 50.

in process for 2014 reboot

regroup + reboot ... it is THAT time of year again. 2014 is around the corner. 4th quarter of every year, i get into yhd* mode (albeit i am always in a kind of yhd mode), which has evolved into a mash-up of vision + goals - a form of my keep-on-keeping-on!

inspirational posters wanted ... as i am writing this, i am VERY AWARE that i have not spent time blogging and writing as much as i have in past years. the most recent posts have been -

• girl nutkin - my last post on girl nutkin was on august 11, 2013, and meanwhile, to date, i have had only 11 posts in 2013. eleven. wait ... ELEVEN?!

• for the love of vogs - my last post with my MotleyFlue chicas was in march 2013 about the bellevue family of shoes, and in fact, i have only posted 6 times - however, i have quite a bit of backlog started and sketched out topics. (i post as the anthrocubeologist.)

• anthrocubeology - my last post is the same as girl nutkin's, only two days earlier on august 9, 2013.

capturing my vision + goals ... GlobalNiche (on web, twitter, facebook, Google+, pinterest) has  GREATLY contributed to providing me the space for giving and community of receiving support. in fact, perhaps obvious to others in the GN community - my mindset of creating, engaging, and cross-cutting/cross-pollinating communities is what GN is all about - while retaining one's individual and authentic voice. (YES, REALLY!)

 

- with that, my 2014 reboot means that my 2013 mash-up originally shared in the new year in january (with a refresh in febrauary, then another(!) refresh in may) -

- will be carried over into 2014.

• as i am mindful of one of the many benefits of behavior design ...
• "When you know how to create Tiny Habits, you can change your life forever."


• my 3 words - deliberate, expressive, shift -
  spill into the activities i pursue in ...

• the 4 areas of yhd -
• relationships, i.e., relationships, health & body, work
• creative expression, i.e., creative expression, spiritual, travel & adventure
• home, i.e., home, possessions
• finance, i.e., finances, special intention

 

 shirlnutkin

approves!

*yhd: your heart's desire

survey says ...

what if YOU 

had this same experience?

how would YOU react?

thank you,

from 

the way of anthrocubeology