Sunday, October 20, 2013

when #AARP meets #birthday #dating

do the math ... last year when my friend pho queen was giving me dating advice, i declared in august 2012 that I would be 49 years old. 

yes, it's an 
appropriate response.

fifty ... yes, this year (and in fact, this month) i am turning 50 years old. 

  • i have been to my 30th high school reunion. 
  • i am at the AARP target market age. 
  • i am generally good-to-go with 80s trivia (and maybe even some 70s trivia given the 13" television set my brother and i adored and the teenage magazines i LOVED!).
  • i saw madonna's the virgin tour when i was in college, for which i also experienced the beastie boys for the first time.
    • and while i am at it, i stared up at andy bell's (of erasure) red-costumey-leather-jockstrap-thing from the floor of san francisco's I-Beam when concerts were under $15. (fun time during them I-Beam nights!)
  • my genes (and moisturizer) keep me looking youthful. 
  • i definitely have to stretch more than before, and whether it really helps, i take a multivitamin religiously.
  • i had to REALLY think about whether it was a good idea to hook-up for a two-night stand with a younger guy - because making bad dating decisions is a timeless, ageless thing - aka 1503 ...  remember this, piragua?
july 8, 2010
  • i read (and have read) dr. christiane northup's women health writings since i was told my eggs would start "rotting" (aka being less viable).
  • i appreciate (for the most part) when other people SQUEE when they learn i'm turning 50.
  • i thank bouncers and age-checkers for not carding me.
  • and finally, i know how to spell perimenapaws perimenapause perimenopause. 

back to the dating thing ... last year pho queen (who is approaching mid-30s in a few years) had silver-lining advice for dating older and dating younger men. 

this year, pho queen and i still talk about dating, sex and the city episodes, old school ways of meeting guys, and scary-shitty on-line dating. (yes, this means she and i are single.) now piragua (a mutual friend, also single, also in her 30s) has posed the question - 

"have you signed up for our time?"
~ piragua

fuck. shit.
i'm turning 50.


  1. You're only as old as you feel! Or as old as what you decide!

    xoxo Soul Sistah

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  3. All the best to you on your milestone Shirley! Fill up your cup, Mazol Tov!
    I turned 50 three years ago. I can relate to your list – here’s my own “silver lining” at turning 50.

    -Big daddy underpants are really comfy

    -downside-> gravity induced man-boobs; upside-> I can share my daughter’s training bra

    -with targeted mass marketing junk email I am now more educated on the wonders of term life insurance, hair restoration, and testosterone therapy

    -attending nostalgia rock concerts and reminiscing with strangers about music and bands we barely remember

    -when the topic of conversation turns to Bond girls, I honestly feel now that Judy Dench and Miss Moneypenny are not so bad looking.

    -never thought that being “being a pain in the ass” would someday turn literal with colonoscopy

    -glad I look much better now than Pete Burns, lead singer of “Dead or Alive” but still way behind Rob Lowe

    -the amusement of drawing a cringe and bewildered look on my daughter’s face when I explained the old high school ritual of making mixtapes for the girls we had a crush on. I skipped the part about sharing a bong seals the boyfriend-girlfriend deal (so I heard). Or was this just in my school?

    -I can kick your ass in late 70’s and 80’s trivia

  4. M is famous--her picture is EVERYWHERE this month! She wishes you happy birthday and reminds you to clean between your toes and behind your ears. Watch out for the whiskers.


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