#reverb10: letting go

day 5 prompt ... Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

(- Author: Alice Bradley)

a "gentleman's agreement" ... i let go of one of those not-in-writing, take-my-word-for-it, let's-shake-on-it "gentleman's agreement", which i made back in 2007 - an agreement between another person and me was to last through 2009. however, i chose to extend it into 2010 because i believed, at the time, that there was hope that some of the agreement would come to fruition. i believed i would have free reign to engage in my mission, vision, and values in life. however, there were many slippery slopes where whole-hearted promises turned into half-baked ideas that evolved into teflon excuses - excuses that slip away without any accountability or responsibility for broken words.

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick ... after what seemed to be a test of will in early 2010, i made a decision (and one that was spent by pondering quite a bit but nevertheless time well spent) to let go of that gentleman's agreement with that person. no fanfare. no celebration. no dancing on tabletops. just a smile followed by a wonderful deep breath - expanding, contracting, expanding, contracting ... ahhh.

now i have an agreement with myself ... my letting go of this gentleman's agreement has afforded me more space - space that i can and have begun to use for creating an agreement with myself - an agreement that still embodies what i had set out to do under the guise of that no-longer-in-existence gentleman's agreement.

i will create space in my life to connect others and to serve,
while not losing sight of my mission, vision, and values.

(funny-odd ... for me, this relates to yesterday's prompt about wonder

and to wednesday's prompt - one word. this certainly was not planned.)