Sunday, December 12, 2010

#reverb10: body integration

(what day 11 (eleven things) was all about)

day 12 prompt ... This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(- Author: Patrick Reynolds)

(my commitment to myself for stream-of-conscious writing ... excited to see what pops up as i type!)

earlier this year at my dad's gravesite ... i remember a moment where i felt very present in my body and something else that i couldn't explain. one visit stands out from the many - i had a not-so-customary visit because i decided to do a brisk walk around the cemetary - something i didn't normally do - before hanging out with my dad. although i'm not very religious, my dad was indeed a religious man.

usually, when i visit his gravesite (my dad died in 2002), it is my respite, and i may engage in several things - journaling, relaxing, sometimes meditating, enjoying the sun, listening to birds, watching others visit loved ones, sipping a coffee, humming to music, hearing baseball bats connect with baseballs off in the distance at a nearby community park, and in my mind, having a conversation with him - write (or tell and actually talk out loud) about my day, my week, things about my mom and brother, my brother's family, work, life ...

that one day was quite a bit different ... something i could not articulate well to friends. back then, i tried to explain to friends what had happened; some friends thought i was nuts, and others politely passively listened.

- ... most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

while on the one visit with dad, i got uber(!) goose bumps and chills ... shortly after this happened, i had such an unfamiliar sensation. i felt really light and airy and full of warmth, while also sensing brighter colors, crisper sounds, prickly blades of grass with little ants scurrying about ... . at first, i thought i was going to faint. i remember having an amazing flood of thoughts and even felt emotional. back then earlier this year, i had no idea what that moment was all about - until i read this prompt. this is a moment (of others since then) when i have felt a truly alive and present ME. i felt both peaceful and energized - my heart and soul, mind and body felt like i could literally and figuratively hug them all - simultaneously.

i look forward to more unfamiliar sensations
that i can come to understand as the cohesive me.

(thanks for letting me share your time!)

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