Sunday, February 12, 2012

got mortified ...

THANKS @mortified @thefreezesf ... mortified (on web, facebook, twitter) and the freeze (on web, facebook, twitter, youtube)  made for great chuckles yesterday evening at your doomed valentines show in berkeley! so awesome for people to share their stories and totally awesome for the improvised hip-hop after each story-teller.
image from: getmortified.com ... go there NOW!
more about mortified ... a jaunt through mortified's site includes nice mortified FAQS about participating with participate FAQs, and most importantly, their upcoming events.

yesterday evening ... i'm glad my friend debbie thought of me for the evening jaunt with her husband and her. dinner at gather (on web, facebook, twitter), mortified at shattuck down low (on web, facebook, twitter) and licky-treats at gelateria naia (on web, facebook, twitter). after the show, i shared a few under 20-years old and over 20-years old dating stories with my friends. now i'm gonna hunt down my high school and early college pack-rat-writings!
my search begins ... i'll be seeking out my childhood-ish scribbles. for better or worse, i know in 2006 (when i moved from SD to BA) i had a ritual burning of letters written during my late teens ... and although not within the mortified age range of 5-20 years old, a TOTAL shredding of letters and cards from a prolific writer boyfriend back when i was 21 and from a my-ex-girlfriend-was-not-found-guilty boyfriend back in the late '90s. nevertheless, i kept a couple of scrap books and little diaries here and there written during high school and college. i also wrote letters to girlfriends. AND i also wrote poems. (OH HOW I TRY TO FORGET about the my calligraphic-lyric-writing of "endless love" to the first one. ewwww.) 

boy2.0 list ... for kicks, i am recreating a "list" i started on my rest-in-peace-blackberry - a list that listed boy-stuff; this list shall be boy2.0. (this list is NOT to be confused with the "men of ...fill-in-the-blank..." calendar lists i have also made.) the original boy list included everyone i remember kissing (and then some, PG-13, R, and soft X), along with symbols indicating if i thought i was in love with that boy, and if he was a shitty kisser (imho).*
  
licky-treats chit-chat ... short version - over gelato and sorbetto, i shared a few college-dating-ish stories and post-college stories with my friends.  and most notably (and a bit horrifying), i shared three stories about dating during '88-'90 (which puts me in my mid/late 20s).

my gal pal stupidicus, for i was moronicus
the stupidicus era ... my three stories can be corroborated (sadly yet likely much more entertaining) by my dear friend and super gal pal affectionately known as stupidicus. here are three stories that are quite abridged (as they should be) ...
  • the dmv guy ... i met him at a dance club (and stupidicus was there). over the course of a couple of weeks, we (finally!) got to 2nd base (kinda), and i later found out he had a fake i.d. - in other words, uhm ... he kinda was REALLY (and i mean REALLY!) young (like WRONG YOUNG!). how i found out? completely unbelievable work-related-ish connection.
    (thanks, stupidicus, for laughing WITH me. right?)

  • jerr-bear ... my art class partner and i went to dinner at paragary (kinda cool adults-drink-wine kind of place) jerr-bear told the waitress to "top it off" (my wine glass, that is) and insisted it was necessary to remove the shell before eating ... that would be the shell of the soft shell crab. later during his good night kiss attempt, jerr-bear also tried to run his fingers through my hair. tried ... because my spiral perm was so unruly that there were little matted/knotted parts. did that stop jerr-bear? no, he really, REALLY kept trying to complete that task. ouchie!
    (thanks, stupidicus, for the serendipitous interruption call - mind you, on a land line, so i HAD to get up to pick up the phone!)

  • b&b metalhead guy ... such a sweet guy from a blind date that consisted of a progressive date - progressive because if at any phase it was going not-so-well, game over(!). the phases ... dinner (6:30 reservations), desert (by 8:00 at the diner), and dvd (by 9:00 and nearly sure-fire 1st base). short version, a total HE said/SHE said sparring. yes, we kissed goodnight, and then our stories diverged.

    the sparring began ... HE said tongue; SHE said no tongue. HE totally had a kind of love-at-first-sight. SHE totally had a you-are-totally-cute-yet-scare-me-a l'il-but-i-don't-know-why moment. HE sent her a spring bouquet of flowers at work. SHE eventually used the lame excuse that the long-distance phone call thing between us was a no-go. HE countered with very reasonable solutions to make it work. SHE made him sad. THEN ... SHE 2 months later, started seeing someone who lived even farther. HE found out under quite unbelievable 1990's-spring-training-walk-out circumstances while i was with the OTHER HE. SHE drank too much. HE ignored her. the OTHER HE was ... well, that's another story with many subplots (part of the WB #3 spiral perm era).
    (thanks, stupidicus, for  giving me the 2.5 blocks-of-walking-home "tips" (nudge-nudge) before i met the OTHER HE, going up to random strangers at john wayne airport, and letting me cry my eyes out over the OTHER HE. i appreciate that you are NOT blackmailing me.)
... and of these 3 stories, two guys were asian and one was white. why is this relevant? it's not really, but i figure i'd give myself an excuse to post pics from boys of the past - in this case, two white guys and one asian guy.

now for the boy2.0 list-making
(oh, excel spreadsheet, 
how handy you will be)
and the teens and post-teens diary-hunting
*i learned late last year when i was contacted via a facebook reconnect, 
i FORGOT i dated him in college. bad shirlnutkin. bad. 
(add him to the boy2.0.)


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