Wednesday, January 5, 2011

f|back (jul '08): as if i'm white (?) ...

... but with smooth skin. (context, please)


here's the context - during this evening's commute home, i hands-free-talked with sci-fi guy (of reverb10 ordinary joy fame) about how he has enjoyed my blog posts (and i how i have enjoyed writing them). we spent some time yapping about fmk frivolity. major props to sci-fi guy for coming up with (... wait for it. wait . for . it . )
(BRAVO!!!)
(tangent) then somewhere along the way, sci-fi guy said he thought i may still be hung-up on a past boyfriend. not-so-much, however, this reminded me of a post i did a couple of years ago - about dating - i am asian, i have dated caucasian men, and because of those experiences, i have 3 little tidbits to share. 
(repost from July 8, 2008 - with a bit of editing only to delete some of the "non-dating" related items.)
well, turns out, i learned (a while ago) that i'm not white. but today, i've got some info that may prove this otherwise ... at least figuratively. (but that comes in later posts)

... so here is what got me excited for my trek to the bus terminal after work. (the bus has wi-fi.) yesterday afternoon, after receiving some text messages from friends up north (... and constantly anxious for things to blog about, for some inspiration, whatever) - along comes THIS over my blackberry:

stuff white people like
and on the list of 104 items* (where you'll find #104 under the "top posts" section) ...


#11 - asian girls! 

my duty, as an asian girl (so i thought) ... was to make sure my mac was charged up enough so i could surf a bit and learn what in fact was/were that "stuff" ... and so i surfed and surfed and surfed on the bus ride home, while typing up the first 1/3 of this post. 

back to the list ... the list is rich with things to ponder and add and comment and laugh and ...?! after checking out the list, it appears i am either (a) white people or (b) i simply like the same stuff that white people like while i am part of the #11 crowd. 

looking back - let's see ... so as part of passing my time yet ANOTHER way, i'll write a bit here/there about how i can relate to some of the "stuff" and i'll start with an easy one - 

i, an asian girl (AG), dated a white boy (WB) here and there back in the day. in other words, i have been a data point for a few WBs (again, refer to #11), as well WBs providing little stories for me to tell through the years. 
here are three WB memories.

WB #1a: "what's a filipino? your last name is mexican, but you look chinese. is filipino mexican and chinese?"
(for my engineer friends, in mathematical terms, does f = m + c?)
[context: 3rd year in college. boyfriend. cute. smart - but taking up
a little bit of space in the relatively prestigious university
for someone else who knows that filipinos don't look chinese (!)
- we look japanese or hawaiian!!! DORK!]

WB #1b: "AYshen girl hahb berry, berry shmoooojjj shkeen. white girl hahb berry, berry hruff shkeen. shmoooojjj AYshen shkeen!" (spoken while rubbing my forearm as if he was polishing silver)
[context: WB #1 attempting to speak with an asian-ish accent.
why? how the f**k would i know. but i put up with it.
i mean, it was college.]

WMom of WB #1: (WMom greets me pleasantly.)"good to meet you, finally. WB #1 son tells me you are filipino." (WMom turns to WB #1) "WB #1, remember when we lived on guam? we had filipinos? they are such nice people."
[context: standing at WB #1's parent's doorstep,
being introduced to WB #1's mom.
WB #1's Mom's doorstep. an actual porch attached to a ranch-style house,
that was part of a private golf community. clearly WMom was lying.
if she really meant it, why didn't a filipino butler answer the door?! ]

WB #2: "mmmm ... look at that asian p***y."
[context: not spoken during a gynecological exam.
not spoken while looking at asian p***y
on a screen (porn). not spoken about pet or stray siamese cat.
actually spoken during a lust-filled moment of a little petula.
that said, unless WB #2 was going to hand me a mirror or take a picture,
i wasn't going to be looking at anything, any time soon,
thank you very much! (OUCH! TMI)]

WB #3: (aka "the runt" or the bay-city-roller-wannabe) rather than pick a choice quote, the defining #11 moment for WB #3 was at a jazz concert (bobby caldwell and some saxophone dude). let's set up the scene of nearly 17 years ago ...**

... my boyfriend (not a WB) and i were unknowingly walking in front of WB #3 who was with his current AG#1. (important tidbit - my boyfriend was WB #3's former roomie.) WB #3 grunts behind us and says, "i thought i recognized that handsome couple!"

and as we turned around, it was VERY CLEAR (PAINFULLY) that AG #1 could potential sport the nearly same, 1990s big-hair, spiral-perm, chaka-khan, rae dawn chong hair that i was sporting. boyfriend and i were polite, chatted, and took our seats (for which WB #3 was several rows ahead of us).

then, my boyfriend noticed across the concert hall, another gal, AG #2. turns out,
AG #2
(also with big-hair) was an ex-girlfriend of WB #3. apparently, AG #2 was the ex with a bit of a fiery temper.

and THEN during intermission, there was an AG #3 siting - yet ANOTHER ex-girlfriend (with moderate big-hair) of WB #3. yeah ... WB #3 had three ex-AGs at this concert. yellow fever? or four AGs attracted to a runty WB (at some point in time)? granted, WB #3 was a charming, cute little fellow. but what a bummer for that ride home.

AND WTF?! curiosity, patience and a little google-stalking ... with a dash of my lame-ass mock-faux-photoshop-prowess. i found this little article after google-stalking WB #3 by name and by the name of a plastic ball with holes in it. go figure - someone scanned some old newsletters in. (thank you, mr. man who did that.)

smooth skin, over and out for now.*


*on 07/08/08, there were 104 listed items.
there are currently 134 listed items.

**the pic? from '90. no, i do not know where WB #3 is;
yes, i'm thinking WB #3 would not come across this blog.
if he does, meh.


2 comments:

  1. this is funny...

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG...I can't even pick my favorite of your WB memories because ALL are funny and well written. NICE recollections and thanks for sharing this. LOVE!

    ReplyDelete

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