happy 2012 easter

have a great easter sunday

wait wait wait 

let's do this right

easter bunny? 

therapy?

happy easter greeting ...

enjoy!

f|break: sunday morning

it's nearing the end of the year ... and i have yet to write up my self-assessment to submit to cubeopolis management. the last quarter of the year means performance review and appraisal time! during last year's cubeopolis prep for mid-year reviews, i offered up these 3 clips. still relevant for now. enjoy, and meanwhile, i must pull my self-assessment together to submit this monday.

(repost from 05/06/09)

... so i decided to do a general 'google search' on

performance reviews

and here are the clips i have to offer.

a quickie, at first over here ...

and for my buddy, harold's girl - to help out with her crush on hugh, another perspective over here ...

and finally, black20 studio's version over here ...

possibly a new cubeopolis metaquote -
"... the power feels good.
i feel like it's almost like
i can shoot lightning from my hands."

(and on a side- and more serious - note,
a WSJ article over here
titled "get rid of the performance review")

f|back (apr '09): my maiden voyage with facebook

i was unfriended ... within my first week on facebook in early apr 2009. however, that hasn't deterred me from using facebook as another social tool. this morn, while i was checking/changing my facebook settings (per the recent news of facebook privacy issues), i do realize what i consider to be a facebook benefit - congratulating a friend in florida who accepted her marriage proposal from 215 ft undersea. that's worth knowing - esp. after it was posted within an hour of the proposal. nevertheless, here is my 1st unfriending during my 1st week on facebook (me victim. him culprit.)

(repost from 04/13/09)

so the facebook story goes ... within the 1st week of reluctantly (although rather curiously) joining facebook last september, i casually friended a childhood friend (at the suggestion of a mutual childhood friend) and then i was summarily unfriended by that childhood friend - all within 3 days.

this current tv clip ... reminded me of that "remove" move (albeit uneventful).

(chuckle - chuckle)

last time yip-yap with childhood friend? ... some 30 years ago. three-zero. thirty. 30 years ago.

super poke huh? ... because i'd been on fbook not even a week, i knew very little about sheep and pokes and other fbook time sink opportunities (although pho queen made sure my ignorance would not last long). the unfriending was a result of your-guess-is-as-good-as-mine-but-i-kinda-figured-it-out-and-so-did-pho-queen.

the messaging experience on fbook? ... start of communications on 09/24 at 8:35 pm (pacific). end of communications on 09/26 at 11:52 pm (pacific). oh well.

(poke)

f|back (july '09): i got validated ...

(repost of 07/14/09, 1-year anniversary(?))

... last wednesday

(or officially july 8)
backstory?
oh yes!!!
(there indeed is a backstory)

cCacao: the beginning ...

here is the original post - with a few edits to bring it up-to-date and to nix hyperlinks to other posts.

(repost from a may 24, '09 post)

cCacao+ clan: and it begins

as promised to the cCacao clan of friends (and then some - over in vermont!), aka those with whom i had saturday breakfast back on march 7 during the whirlwind weekend of a college reunion of sorts.

vicarious living for you ... i'll (politely) share my adventures as the 40-something single gal whose cCacao "sponsor" pony-up'd coin for an on-line dating/matchmaking service.* posts will be brief and simple - about what is going on over on my end with the voices in my head type of thing. so at this point, it's not intended to be moniker story-telling like over here (although ... i'll have to really try hard NOT to go to moniker-land!) ... (and warning - hyperlink hell and content)

day 2 ... reminds me that yesterday was day 1, when gadget man pony-up'd for the service. (note to self - before thanksgiving, make sure to CANCEL service.) i will be on-lining for up to 6 months; if i wanna go any longer, it's on my dime (and quite a bit of dimes it would be).

stats for this morn ~ 10 AM ... 15 matches (although there were 19 when i first logged on this morn). all live in the same state. all are within not more than a 2 hour drive. one is requesting communications.

day 2 update, already ... i decided to respond to the one requesting communications BEFORE finishing this post - so i can tell you that i did answer the Qs **and** took the time to send back Qs. however ...

15 is now 13.

so i'm thinking that the approach to these updates will be ... i'll start my post just shortly AFTER i login to the service, let you know what stuff i do, almost finish my post, logoff, and then close out the post. and i'll at least provide you with the numbers game.

*yes, i'm aware of the major issues of exclusion (as i am politely stating and biting my tongue!)
surrounding this particular on-line service. however, i'll hang for the 6 mos. and chat with
gadget man and the cCacao+ peeps, all while biting my tongue.

hipmtfn: apartment therapy-ish

hipmtfn = how i pass my time for now

(repost from jan 24, 2009) ... this year i'll get past weeks 4-5.

...into my life and that is GREAT!!!

LAST YEAR ... just around this time, as evidenced by this post-gone-by, i began apartment therapy. (i don't quite live in an apartment, but that's o.k. - it's for the whole home/nesting kind of thing.) i managed to DRAG the SH** out of an eight-week effort, which i admittedly assumed 12-weeks would work for me sometime last year, into - oh ... say ... a year or otherwise known as 52 weeks.

it's the weekend ... and here i am, on a cloudy and mild northern california, bay area afternoon, inspired by a friend of mine who (as posted on her fbook wall this morning) is purging & cleaning. i talked with her also just to check-in and i'm even more excited about continuing to get the bits & pieces of my home life pulled together.

a few other motivators (and procrastinating by surfing the web) while considering my style (per this article)as a seeker, burster, and easy start of the day kind of organizer include ... posts and articles as follows:

• starting with the bedroom (and my guest room)
  
• donating/recycling home stuff
• dealing with books on shelves, floors, etc.
• retail therapy afterwards (or interim)

on the housewarming date ... will be (sometime in late april - after taxes, of course!). time to get started (again) and put this effort to rest in the coming weeks (at least the next 9-12 weeks - ha!)

f|break: saturday evening - it's almost v-day ...

valentine's day ... just a couple more weeks until it rears its cupid-head (and if you really must know, here's some info). after shopping like a cost-conscious bandit today, several store fronts were sporting the iconic v-day symbols. this reminded me of last year's exchanges. below are a few reposts for today's fiber break ... and it all starts with -

i love you more than ... blank

(reposts from '09 - feb 17, april 25, sept 26)

... thanks to daviddust for channeling ellie grace as part of a comment to this morn's post (02/17), thus allowing me an excuse to post this little clip. (hee-hee)

i love you more than ...
little britain & little britain USA
(well ... kinda sorta)
oh yeah
>peace, bitch

i love you more than ...

. grits at rudy's . happy hour with the gals .
. watching glee . pressing speed dial on my phone .
. non sequitur conversations . ocean wet smell .
. air-conditioned buses on an indian summer day .
. color theme dress-up day .
. the colored markers i lug around at work .
. the garden fresh fruits & vegetables you share .
. movies we quote for the immature teenage boys
that we truly can be .
. le pen .
... blank ...

. all the bags in my closet . that tasty cookie at caffe trieste .
. the smell of the ocean . a cup of espresso forte or garuda .
. i did yesterday . you love yourself .
. reading david's recaps of fave (and not so fave) reality tv shows .
. a scoop of chocolate therapy . cheese .
. the color of the sun setting and rising .
. how much i love how you smell .
. writing . people think i love penguins .
. our stupidicus and moronicus frivolity . i miss san diego .
. staring at the ceiling . fried pickles .
. harold and his purple crayon .
. sweet potato fries (baked of course, ha!) .
. sound of your loving sigh . blogging . ha cherng .
. your love for jumble words . your love for gardening .
... blank ...

. i love our hit or miss morning chats . the heat in d.c. .
. that filipino dessert i forget the name of . guacamole & chips .
. you love gerard butler . oatmeal mango cookies .
. you love talking in french . pedicures with leg massages .
. you love your belgian beer . you hate muta .
. hot chocolate with whipped chocolate mousse .
. you love to travel . buzz loves the spice girls .
. you love poppy & rosey . the sound of music .
. you love our harry potter books . uffpa .
. you love shopping . the guns you own . your love for wine .
. you love bejeweled . your dragonboat fun .
... blank ...

today's ... blank ...?
. barney's burgers & milkshakes .
. awesome shopping deals .

no telling when i would have sat down ...

feb 22, 2009 was the northern california memorial service for jengyee.

(repost from a 02/22/09 post)

i had the honor of being part of the memorial service for my friend jengyee. the service was this afternoon. as part of that event, in addition to volunteering to bring boxes of kleenex, pens, an artist's clipboard, name tags (oops! forgot those), and a microphone stand, i offered to share some thoughts.

originally planned to be in the "first part" of the memorial service, i had started drafting a bit of a eulogy that i'd hoped would express (and impress) the sense of my friendship with jengyee - mentor/mentee turned girlfriend buddies. ultimately, it made a bit more sense to be part of the "second part" of the memorial service where there was an open mic for those attending to share their memories of jengyee with each other.

the one special memory shared between me and jengyee is the genesis of her book, hello real world. and for this, i chose to share with others at the memorial.

"no telling when i would have sat down ..."

thank you for this opportunity to share with you the slice of life i experienced with jengyee. my name is shirlsd. jengyee and i met through the Student Alumni Mentorship Program (SAMP) at U.C. Berkeley. as an alumna, i wittingly knew that, when jengyee chose me, i would have a captive audience for my college and career experience musings. although our college majors differed - she in IEOR and me in ChemE, we expressed a similar passion about environmental issues. after several random talks about environmental-related careers, roommates, places to hang out in berkeley, and dance places in san francisco (which was scary to find out that the same places still existed after 20 years!), our mentor-mentee talks quickly evolved into heartfelt conversations about enjoying life and making a difference in the world. it was during one conversation that jengyee became my mentor - she inspired me to develop a more formal and thoughtful summer internship program for my consulting practice.

the slice of life i feel honored to share with you is about my experience with the evolution of “hello real world” – jengyee’s book. after spending a little time talking with mr. liang last night, i decided to share something a little different than what i had originally planned to share, with the hopes that this slice brings to life one of the many facets of jengyee.

the following is the sentiment she wrote in this very book …

“shirlsd, wow! what a journey!! thanks for being the impetus behind this book. no telling when i would have sat down to document my experiences without your initial suggestion and continued support. may this book bring you many amazing internship moments. jengyee liang. 2.28.06.”

a little bit about my journey with jengyee – regarding her book, amazing internship moments. and my personal transformation from the words ... “no telling when i would have sat down … ”.

being able to put my finger specifically on the moment
12-27-2004. 3:38 pm
this is the date and time when jengyee started writing about her internship experiences. she and i were talking on the phone over her christmas holiday break to catch-up on life – school, business, interns, social life, music, boys, family – the normal stuff. by this time, our cal student-mentor tenure had already ended, and yet we chose to stay in touch. and in fact, i don't know if it was a choice so much as it just was what it felt it needed to be.

she was expressing some frustration over hoping to have a productive internship experience. long story short, i encouraged her to simply journal. write thoughts down – good, bad, happy, sad, indifferent, doodle – whatever just seemed to automatically flow … then call me or send something over in a couple days or so. in fact, i did the same thing – as a business owner who wanted to make sure that any internship experience i offered would be at least somewhat fulfilling as jengyee would hope to have for any students' experiences. me? i came up with 1 page. jengyee - more than 5 pages, single-spaced. little did we know that what started as a cathartic moment between two girlfriends ultimately would result in her book, “hello real world”.

jengyee and i continued to exchange ideas. and while doing so, jengyee asked if one of my interns, margaret, would read the beginnings of jengyee’s internship guide, which is how it originally was starting out – not quite a book, yet.

fast forward nearly 10 months later
september of 2005
margaret shared with jengyee her perspectives and comments. and as i’m sure you all know, jengyee was very thankful and took to heart and mind much of what margaret offered. and as with margaret’s input, jengyee continued seeking input not only from margaret but also from other friends, mentors, and colleagues. (just as was mentioned earlier by jesse about his friend, tom). suffice to say, jengyee not only continued to refine her writing, she decided she would see about formally publishing a book.

3 months later
December 2005
jengyee asked me to write the foreword. i’ll refrain from reading it here for now and will simply say that i was simply honored to do so.

finally, for one of my "no telling when i would have sat down ..." moments
the next month
january 2006
i started a blog - at the encouragement of jengyee … chronicling the experience of one of my interns - affectionately known as "reality: intern". in fact, it was an intern whom jesse introduced to me.

i’ll stop at this point – so you know that the matter of fact manner of which i’m describing my friendship with jengyee clearly was more than tasks, dates, times, telephone calls, e-mails, etc. my friendship, and i’m sure as with your friendship and memories of her, have been about sharing life’s moments and evolving from even the simplest of statements -

“no telling when i would have sat down … ” moments.

it is this sentiment that i often carry and share when faced with life's occasional curve balls and many competing interests.

then i remember and remind myself - take the opportunity to occasionally sit down a bit, take deep breaths ... and do so especially with the encouragement of a friend -

“no telling when i would have sat down … ”

thank you for letting me share this sentiment with you, again, and with that, i'm sure we all look forward to others' memories of jengyee. and thank you to mr. liang and mrs. liang for letting us have this opportunity.

if you have chosen to read through this whole post, thank you very much for doing so. it means very much to me.

let me believe

(repost from feb 03, 2009 post)

let me believe that it is different
something is different
we are different

it is nearly two years since the last time you chose not to call
even though i believed you because you said you would call,
since i left you a message you chose not to return
even though i believed friendship would prevail,
since a painful moment i brought upon us
even though we have never spoken about it.
i do not have to believe
because i know
that two years ago, we experienced our own grief
when i asked you to remove you - your passion - from my home.
the sadness in my heart went unnoticed
as it was overshadowed by your quiet anger.

let me believe my feelings are different
something is different
you are different

it is less than one year since you chose to e-mail me.
your note? i believed it was a simple, benevolent gesture
even though only you knew your intentions.
i do not have to believe
because i know
that the moment i watched you walk toward my doorstep
was the moment i realized i chose well.
my acceptance of your gesture went unnoticed
as i chose to forgo my healing for your companionship.

let me believe that i can heal
something is different
i am different

it is tonight, more than one week since you chose not to call
even though i believed you - just because.
it is tonight, not more than one day since i chose to call you,
as i have done so since, daily.
on this night, i chose to leave you a message,
not reminiscent of two years ago,
because something is different,
we are different.
tonight i asked that we talk, that we share, that we listen.
and on this night, as i recount my sadness, your anger,
my acceptance, your touch,
i remember that i have a choice,
that you have a choice.
even though we may never talk about this,
i accept that you may not call
because tomorrow,
something will be different.

let me believe that i will choose
that i have chosen
that i am different
i do not have to believe
because i know

25 blah-blah things

(repost from a 02/10/2009 post)

i'm guessing you have seen this ... the 25 random things thing. from joanne's post over on her blog where she states ...

"taken from this internet/chain letter/ facebook post thing. Basically you're just supposed to list 25 facts about yourself. The lovely Diana tagged me on facebook with this. According to the rules, once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged and generally how/why you tagged who you did. (Since I'm going blog style, I'm not going to tag, okay?)"

so as with joanne's 25s, i say to you - enjoy your read, and perhaps you will find out something(s) new about me ... as well as mundane boring bullsh**.


1. over not under ... that is the way that sheets of a toilet paper rolls should lay. i will fix the roll - at your home, my work, a restaurant, a department store, a gas station, wherever.

2. because my high school counselor thought otherwise ... back in the day when applying for college and choosing a major, my h.s. counselor was not quite encouraging about my choosing a "hard" engineering major - like chem eng, which was fine because i secretly wanted to do architecture/environmental design (or something along that line). i decided to list chem eng first and architecture second, as if i was spiting my counselor. go figure, i got my first pick.

3. om. om. om. ... i'm a bit woo-woo. during a weekend in nov '07, i was certified at the practitioner's level (level 2) for reiki. and during that weekend, i also was exposed to/learned about angels - guardians and archangels - and guides. (this event)

4. it's chris. now give me my $20 (and then some) ... my friend, kevin, gave me $20 in my 2nd year of college. i had a huge crush on a cute guy in my major. i drove kevin (and others) nuts yapping on & on (and we know i can do THAT) about this guy. all i had to do was get the guy's name, and kevin would give me $20. well, i turned it into a small event ... asked cute guy if i he was going to class 'cuz i wasn't going, if he could pick up my problem set, and if i could meet him after class. he said yes, we exchanged names, and then he gave me his phone number on a piece of paper, with his name - chris. we dated for several months eventually.

5. foreword ... i wrote one - for my friend's book called "hello real world." (i miss my friend, jengyee liang.) foreword content here.

6. come fly with me ... i believe hypnosis works. i vomited in a garbage can after deplaning from a small prop plane that flew from the bakersfield area to sacramento. afterwards, my boss handed me a napkin and a 7up. that was in 1989. whenever i traveled via plane (any size), i white-knuckled ascents and descents until 1994, which was when i underwent hypnosis for, apparently, my flying issues. i don't necessarily enjoy flying, but i don't vomit-launch anymore.

7. it's just a numbers game ... my college gpa was less than stellar. more than 2.00 and less than 2.50. mixed in there is the fact that i do know what is required to get off of academic probation. and even with that, i still owned a successful and active consulting practice for ~12 years and had a nifty internship program (for shich i started blog that chronicled an intern's experience over here) in the end, i have learned that the numbers mean less as time goes on.

8. there once was a man from nantucket ... i won 3rd place in a 4th grade poetry contest.

9. EE-dull-wha-the ...? ... i have never seen the entire movie (or even 10 minutes straight) of "the sound of music" - so my rendition of edelweiss at karaoke after skiing alta and drinking a bunch of singha was comparable to the william shanter's talk-sing style (over here).


10. more bookcases, please ... i swear i won't buy any more books, but then i buy more books - after pulling one of my many wallets out of one of my many purses while wearing one of my many pairs of shoes after making one of my many "to do" check lists. (sigh)

11. amen, kinda sorta ... i was raised roman catholic, which meant i took catechism, which meant i went to a lady's house to learn about the old and new testament. when asked to say grace before snack-time among other catechism goers, i stood up, did a kind of curtsy, then bowed a little with a rolling right hand gesture and said "gahhhhh-rrrrrrace." that didn't go over very well after a few giggles.

12. gullible ... i am, at times. that's why i spent a week telling friends (and strangers) about my new found knowledge that johnny depp was part vietnamese.

13. ahhhh. ahhhh. ... i have no cavities.

14. epiphany ... i had an epiphany in early may '94, and as a result, one of the insights that popped out of some kind of automatic writing moment is the following that guides me ...

There are BRIDGES yet to be constructed by those who live andbreathe in their ENVIRONMENT — AIR, LAND and WATER. Egos stand firmon the ground that they were born and choose not to acknowledge thatto get one step closer they must go one step FURTHER.MY VISION IS TO CREATE THOSE BRIDGES.

and from this, i also came up with the full complement of a mission / vision / values statement. whether just voices in my head, divine inspiration, or simply words resulting from some sleep deprivation, it is important to me that people are made aware of how their choices affect the environment. and hopefully, they will choose well.

15. dog ... i am more of a dog person than a cat person.

16. pigdog's dad ... i wrote an e-mail to a photographer, chip simons, who was listed on the back of a postcard - this postcard (to the right) that had a picture of what i affectionately called "pigdog" back in my college days. chip wrote me back. here is the little story.

17. (with butterflies in my stomach) phew! he said "yes" ... in the summer of '02, to date, that has been the ONLY time i have formally asked a guy out on a date - dinner and a sade concert. (well, although he said "yes," he later had to cancel because he was stuck in the mid-west working on a power plant. of course, i still went to dinner and the concert. hello? it's sade!!!)

18. yes ... i once inhaled.

(update & clarification: i once inhaled. uhm ... perhaps twice?)

19. writing ... calms my soul. as loquacious as i am/can be/have been, i think that writing provides that extra "umph" for me to be even more (or differently) expressive. by all means, i just find myself writing to write, and often i'll learn something new about myself. as far as any stories i've written or barely started - it's just a numbers game, and a few other stories titled (so far) my foreigner, donor #3355, and let me believe come to mind. (i do have a story about vacation neurosis, which was my very first short that i attempted back in 2003.)

20. i'll be in the corner, thank you ... small groups are more of my scene. i've often been told by acquaintances, friends and co-workers that they fancy me as a social butterfly - readily flitting around friends and strangers. on the contrary, i enjoy sitting with a small pool of friends (old & new) in a corner with a beverage of choice and yapping it up.

21. useless silverware ... one day, i want to bend silverware - knives, spoons, forks, sporks, you name it! - just like uri geller did (and does?).

22. never say never ... i started a solo-consulting practice in '94 (well, i was unemployed in 11/94, by choice) and currently have it a bit on-hold. in '07, i returned to the government. here are thoughts i was processing just one week after returning. perhaps i'll write more about my thoughts (see #19.)

23. sunflower seeds ... i eat sunflower seeds while driving long hauls.

24. stink-eye ... in '94, i had a funky, not-so-obvious eye issue that ultimately was termed "atypical" as a result of many (MANY!) tests - lumbar puncture (aka spinal tap), bone marrow sample, mri, cat scan, barium sulfate, and other pin-cushion, bodily-fluid-draining, innards-picture-taking activities. and as many experiencing a battery of tests, not knowing if i was faced with a life-threatening situation, that is when i started learning much more about naturopathic medicine and that is when i began to understand that there are no such things as coincidences.

25. i like it cold ... i prefer to sleep with my feet outside the blankets.

you're welcome.